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The
Top 10 Tips to Achieving All That You Want to Be
All of us want to achieve success, whatever that is for us,
and however we define it. But how many of us really comprehend how we do that?
What is it I need to DO to BE what I want most? These 10 tips will help
us focus and create that balanced sense of being that ultimately creates who we
become. Read each of these to yourself upon rising in the morning, after lunch
each day, and out loud each night before retiring, for 5 weeks, one per week.
Your subconscious mind will begin to transform your limiting beliefs and you
will experience a metamorphosis within. Note whether others notice too. 1.
Today I begin a new life. Consciously reminding ourselves that we are evolving
creations that are adaptable will keep us on track for being whatever we want to
become. Decide to be open to all people, experiences, sights,
sounds, and tastes. You will expand your world of reality and become more
attractive to others. Watch your circle of influence expand. 3.
I will persist until I succeed. Persistence in opening up your mind and your senses to all
possibilities will have the universe sending to you those things that belong
with you with less effort. You are made perfect, whether you agree with it or not.
Accept it, and proceed from a position of strength rather than need. Let your senses, your mind, your spirit flow into the
vastness of the universe. Allow no restrictions, no constraints, no prejudices
to hold you back. Emotions are only judgments of our entitlement. Maintain
your strength, your power. Become toleration free and you will master your
emotions. 7.
I will laugh at the world. Laughter is possible when we let go, let the perfect things
of the universe come to us because we are open and free, without restrictions.
Open your mind, and the world around you becomes lighter and easier, because you
are. 8.
Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold. Explore how you can add value to your business, your
customers, your family and friends, your neighbors. What you give without
expectation of receiving comes back to you a hundredfold, often from unexpected
sources. Dreaming is good, it gets us motivated and energized to
create change. But just sitting there without taking action will not get you
there. Create your goal, then take
one action each day towards achieving that goal.
The principle of compounded interest on a daily basis will make your
dream come true. Whatever your spiritual or religious affiliation or
beliefs, there is a universal being that you consider master of the universe.
Pray through your day for guidance and clarity. This can take 1 minute or 1
hour, it’s up to you. Submitted by Carmen Stine, MS, who can be reached at coachmentor@aol.com
The original source is: Og Mandino. The
Top 10 Components of Practical Spirituality
A great deal is written about spirituality in relation to recovery from addictions as though it is different from other aspects of spirituality. Addiction can take people very far from spirituality, regardless of whether the addiction is to a chemical or to gambling, the Internet, work, or any other activity. However, most of what is written about spirituality for the recovering person can be helpful to all of us. After all, who can truly say that they are not recovering from something? Here is one expert’s take on the components of spirituality.
Submitted by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., who can be reached at The
Top 10 Emotions to Amplify for a Wildly Fulfilling Life
Emotional states usually serve as the ultimate endpoint of
our dreams goals and desires, so why wait to feel our favorites? Decide to feel
NOW the youthfulness and pleasure that little red sports car will give you...
then watch it barrel up the driveway.... We receive the best quality results in our lives by
amplifying our brightest emotions. What wild surprises would you magnetically
attract if you saw, stood, spoke and acted from the following feelings?
About the Submitter: The
Top 10 Fears that Stop Us from Having the Relationship We Want
Everyone wants healthy, satisfying, mutually generous
and regenerating relationships. Yet, many express amazement when they see others
who have created one, because they haven’t been able to do it. People seldom
want to look at the “fears” that run them and their actions when dealing
with their relationships. I’ve identified what I believe to be the ten most
common fears that stop people from having the kind of relationships they want.
Usually these fears originate from a person’s developmental experiences and
the resulting sense of themselves, combined with a relationship history that is
patterned from those experiences. 1.
It is inevitable that the relationship will end painfully. Perhaps the relationship will end... when that happens some
pain is probably inevitable. It is the idea of the inevitability of the end that
needs to be addressed. To confront the fear of the future, or the past, it is
important to remain in the present. Avoid talking about past experiences too
much. Try not to over-anticipate where the relationship is going.
By staying in the present, you give the relationship the greatest
opportunity to evolve according to its own path. In addition, by staying in the
present, you give yourself the opportunity to recognize and process intuitive
signals about the relationship that may help to avoid additional hurt in the
long run. 2.
Nobody can ever really understand me. Try to think of the psycho-emotional life of human beings
as being made up of a deck of cards. There are only 52 cards in the deck and in
any given round you may be dealt some combination of the 52. But everyone is
playing with the same deck. Try to communicate what you are experiencing through
the use of metaphor.... sometimes this is the best way to get others to connect
with who we are and what we feel. Start off in a private journal perhaps, then
graduate to close friends and associates... until you begin to become
comfortable and feel visible. 3.
I won’t be able to maintain the energy a good relationship requires. Establishing and maintaining a healthy, satisfying
relationship does require work, and the definition of work implies the
expenditure of energy (remember high school physics). However, energy is a
tricky notion and we often don’t give ourselves credit for just how capable we
all are at creating it. A while back, I attended a seminar in which the
facilitator insisted that energy was a choice. He insisted that if a million
dollars were at stake, we would all find the energy to do what was necessary to
get the money. Theoretically, I understood. Well, it was my turn to be one of
the group leaders at another seminar; I finally understood what he meant. When I
least felt I could go on, I found the energy to serve my team beyond what I
thought was possible. I learned, then and there, that I was more capable of
doing whatever it takes than I ever believed. Of course, a healthy relationship
is supposed to provide you, from time to time, with the space to relax from the
stresses of life. Be willing to ask for the space you need to regenerate
(occasionally - don’t take advantage). If your partner is not willing to give
you that space, perhaps there are other issues at play. 4.
I’ll have to give up too much of myself. Each individual has the power to set the boundaries for
his/her life. If you have difficulty establishing firm boundaries for your
“self” - you need to work on that with a coach or, perhaps even, a
therapist. Be incredibly selfish. By exercising extreme self-care, you will be
able to bring more of your authentic self into the relationship; the result will
take the relationship to incredibly new levels. 5.
He/she will eventually see the “real” me and reject me. Human beings are multi-faceted; the falsehood is that the
social self we present is not the authentic self.... it is!! It is a part of who
we are. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses; everyone has a “shadow” (as
Carl Jung defined it). Embrace all aspects of you. Until you are willing to
accept the potential dark side of who you are, you are blocked from being able
to fully actualize the self. All aspects of who you are to the world are part of
the whole you! 6.
He/she won’t understand my physical needs and desires. There are plenty of sex therapists out there who will give
advice on how to introduce requests for unusual sex play.... this topic is not
merely about that area of physical relationships. Human sexuality is critical to
our existence. No one should deny or avoid addressing what they want or need to
satisfy this area of their lives. Again, it is important to share and to be open
to a partner’s sharing... free of judgment. Through open communication, we can learn whether or not
we are compatible with our partners. The sooner we discover this, the more able
we are to successfully negotiate and invest in a relationship that is fully
satisfying. 7.
He/she will discover “this area” of my life where I am weak and will
judge me entirely on that. Risky, yes, but necessary. We must show a certain amount of
vulnerability and trust that the person we’ve chosen authentically loves and
cares for us, in spite of potential flaws. However, we cannot control other
people’s responses. The best thing to do is to allow our partners to see who
we are (over time) and learn whether or not they are worthy of our trust. But
fearing their response doesn’t serve our own long term interest.
If they judge us, we don’t want them... if they don’t, hiding from
them only breeds mistrust. 8.
Nobody is completely honest and trustworthy; so, I can’t trust him/her.
Some people are neither honest, nor worthy of our trust.
This is a good reason to stay present and in touch with our intuition. Assuming
that you can’t trust anybody indicates the issue is more related to earlier
life issues. In order to have an incredible relationship, it is necessary to
allow yourself to be vulnerable...not to the point of potential danger, and not
fully vulnerable immediately. Again, stay present and listen to your intuitive
responses. 9.
He/she is trying to get something from me. First, ask yourself if your partner has actually done
anything to indicate this, or if you have the tendency to enter into
relationships with this mindset. Remember, you are always in control and able to
set the boundaries of what you are willing to give. Be fully responsible for
what you freely give to people.... you won’t feel taken advantage of as
easily. Also, relationships are about giving and getting.... you don’t need to
worry that you will run out of yourself... there is always more of YOU! If you
are willing to “give” yourself... then no one has the opportunity to
“take” from you. 10.
If I let him/her know how much I love him/her, they will interpret it as
“need,” get scared and leave. Sometimes, it is not necessary to report to your partner the full extent of every feeling you experience. The beauty and the value of experiencing ourselves in relationship with another human being is just that.... experiencing ourselves. Often there is great value in contemplating our own ability to experience the capacity to love and relate. Practice enjoying your own ability to relate and eventually you’ll feel comfortable communicating your experience without fear of how the other person may respond. Which, by the way, is quite out of your control anyway. Submitted by Virginia L. Walz, who can be reached at The
Top 10 Steps to Defining Your Personal Purpose This foundation for creating and living a purpose-centered
life is based on key elements which, when present, support you to lead a
meaningful life. The path to discovering personal purpose starts with
identifying who you are, what you do and what it is you contribute. 1.
Identify your Core Attributes—the qualities that you use to manifest
your purpose. Knowing these attributes, and clearly acknowledging they
are available to you in any context, offers a sense of security. 2.
Elicit your Core Attributes by asking, What kind of person am I? or What’s been true of me since I was a youngster? Write down all attributes you can think of that are true of
you. Examples of Core Attributes
might be: honest, loving, compassionate, independent, determined, curious-. 3.
Define each attribute in your own words, expressed by your experience.
Ask, What does it mean to be (attribute)? Find an actual experience of yours that suggests that
perhaps you are NOT an (attribute) person. If you find a counter example,
establish whether or not it bothered you at the time that you did not (could
not) express it, and/or, recognize how you were in fact, in some way manifesting
that attribute. You will feel bad when your attributes are absent.
This feeling proves the attribute is part of you. If in fact, you were
not in some way expressing that attribute and/or it did not bother you that you
were not expressing it, this suggests it is not one of your Core Attributes. 5.
Identify and elicit your Natural Gifts. These are skills and abilities (both internal and external)
that translate your Purpose into behavior and action. Your Natural Gifts are the
abilities you have naturally learned and developed. You probably take your
Natural Gifts for granted, not recognizing them for the special, significant and
unique abilities they actually are. 6.
Find at least three activities in both your personal and your
professional life and then answer the following questions: What do you
absolutely, truly enjoy doing in your professional life? and What do you
absolutely, truly enjoy doing in your personal life? 7.
Review all your answers and group your responses according to those that
are about the same and describe the essences of that ability. 8.
Reveal your personal Purpose. Your Purpose is the essence of what you contribute to the
world simply by virtue of who you are, rather than because of what you know,
own, or can do. Knowing your Purpose offers a sense of significance. 9.
Describe at least four experiences that were fulfilling for you: times
when you were fully using/expressing/manifesting yourself. 10.
Create your Purpose Statement from these groups of words. A Purpose Statement generally has four parts: an essential
action—how you engage in the world; a central concern—what your attention is
focused on; a beneficiary—who is directly affected; and an intended
impact—the outcome. Use your words and phrases to formulate a Purpose
statement, refining it until it resonates with you. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth
living.” Live your life on Purpose and you have the context for making
important decisions based on where you find fulfillment and contribute to your
world. You leverage your abilities to the fullest, liberating a sense of
significance. On Purpose, you move proactively through life, with confidence,
effectiveness, creativity and passion! Submitted by Robert Knowlton, Success Coach and NLP Master The Top 10 Steps
to Guilt-free Living
Too many people live in a state of constant guilt.
They feel guilty if they spend a cent on themselves. They feel guilty if they
are not constantly at the beck and call of someone else. They feel guilty if
anything goes wrong in the life of any of their loved ones, because, somehow,
they should have prevented it. Sometimes it seems as though they feel guilt just
because they exist! Others feel guilty because their behavior and their values
are frequently at odds. Here are some reassurances and ways to plan ahead so as
to not feel guilty. 1.
If you don’t want others to know about something you are about to do,
then that is a signal that you are ashamed of it. Solution - don’t do it. 2.
Understand that you are as worthy of care and attention as anyone else,
and it is not wrong to nurture yourself. Whether it is taking time for yourself, spending money on
yourself, or eating good chocolate as you take a bubble bath, you are entitled,
and you do not need to feel guilty. The
edict from the Bible says “Love your neighbor AS yourself, not MORE THAN
yourself.” 3.
Examine your motives. Why are you contemplating a particular action? If you will
eventually need to explain to anyone else why you did it, will you be willing to
be honest about it? If not - don’t do it. 4.
Set your own values according to what you believe. When we are very young and do not know right from wrong we
need to learn values from someone. As we grow older, we need to develop our own
values, according to our beliefs. It may be that those values will be the same
as the ones were given when young. Or not. What is important is that we have
examined them, and made our own choices. 5.
Identify and dismiss your judges. Most people who suffer from unnecessary guilt do so because
there is a little judge sitting (metaphorically) on their shoulders. It may be
the voice of an angry parent, a judgmental teacher, a mocking older sister, or
someone else who judged you when you were young and not old enough to have
developed your own values and conscience. Understand that you are now old enough
to make your own decisions, to decide on your own values. 6.
Understand that you have done the best you could with the tools that you
thought you had. You could do no more. If you now realize that it was not
enough, reach out to get some more tools, tools to help you become more of who
you really want to be, to help you do what is right. The only way to make right
the past is to make right the future. 7.
Integrate yourself, do not live different lives, or be different people,
in different settings. A person who is one person at work and lives according to
completely different values at home, or who splits life up in other ways, lives
in fear of being found out and cannot always live according to his/her true
values. We need to find our own deep foundation, and use this to support all
aspects of our lives. 8.
Imagine that the entire world hangs in the balance between good and evil,
and that your action will swing the balance in one direction or the other. 9.
If you are still in doubt, talk with someone you trust, NOT with someone
who will advise you to do what they think you want to do. 10. Ask
yourself if this is the behavior you would want your grandchildren to know you
by. If you still have any doubts about whether or not it is
right to do something, ask yourself this question. The answer will be your
guide. The
Top 10 Steps to Understanding Your Financial Situation
Most of us know that we should have a clear idea of
our financial situation (or predicament, as the case may be). For many, the
prospect is too overwhelming and we do not know where to start, so we don’t.
If the process is broken down into steps, it becomes more manageable. Balance your checkbook to the penny every time you receive
a bank statement. Know the total value of your assets, including cash,
investments, and property. Know your total liquid worth. Know how much you owe. Know how much you pay out monthly for essentials. Know how much you pay out monthly for everything, and
exactly what you are spending your money on. Know the rate of interest you are paying on all your debts.
Calculate monthly how much you are paying in interest on
your unpaid debts. Have a savings plan that you can stick to. With all of the above, decide where you can cut your
spending. Submitted
by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., who can be reached at The
Top 10 Steps Toward Peace of Mind Peace of mind is not just something that comes to us when
everything is going well. It is something that comes from a combination of many
sources, and that can sustain us even when things are not going well. Even
through tragedy. 1.
Reserves Not necessarily the large reserves that we sometimes refer
to in coaching (though those would be wonderful, too), but awareness that you
are not going to run out of the minor things that can easily cause disruption in
our lives, e.g. gas/petrol, postage stamps, toilet paper, essential food items. 2.
Forgiveness Know that you need not be full of anger, or nagging
hostility, toward anyone, including yourself. Remember that we all do the best
we can with what we believe we have. There are few people who harm others on
purpose. 3.
Acceptance... of self and of others In the same vein, know that the only person about whom you
have the right to make decisions is yourself. Others will be what they will be,
depending on their own combination of circumstances, genetic inheritance and
choices. For yourself, know that your choices are and always will be your own.
Don’t berate yourself for your past, it is past. If you don’t care for it,
make the decisions necessary to create a different future. 4.
Clear conscience Act always as though someone else who you respect will know
what you do. If you would not want others to know that you did something, then
don’t do it, for you (and quite likely someone or Someone else) WILL know. 5.
Support Know where you can turn for support, for a shoulder to cry
on, and for other forms of help when you need it. Know your friends, keep your
fences mended, and keep a list of agencies and institutions to which you can
turn if you must. Never let pride stop you from requesting help when you need
it. 6.
Surroundings that you can enjoy Your surroundings may not look like a magazine cover, but
they can be kept sufficiently tidy, organized, and attractive that you feel
pleasure as you look around you. We often think of surroundings as what we are
aware of visually, but the other senses may be involved too. We may need music,
or silence. We may choose to enjoy the scent of burning candles, or of baking,
or of well polished furniture. 7.
No undone have-tos, deadlines, overdue debts These will undermine peace
of mind every time. Decide on a schedule to get rid of them. If you have to call
on someone to keep you on schedule with this, enlist a friend, a family member,
or even a coach. Just knowing that you are making progress will enhance your
peace of mind. Catching up on these
things will do so even more. If you are religiously or spiritually inclined, then you
already know this. Even if you believe there is nothing beyond us except nature
and the earth, then at least you know there is that. Know that you ARE
connected. Trust that connection, and know that you DO belong. 9.
Know that you are at choice, not a victim Recognize that you DO have choices. If you feel you do not,
look again, and see that what you have previously dismissed as lack of choice is
actually a choice that certain alternatives are unacceptable, or that you had
not seen them in the first place. Reconsider your options. Brainstorm with
someone you trust. 10.
Knowledge that you can affect your world, that you need not be a pawn Sometimes it is difficult to imagine that any one person
can change the world. We certainly need to change ourselves before we can change
anything else, and even then we do not have the right to change other people.
Yet the changes that we make in our own behavior, our willingness to
reach out and help, volunteer, to try to make the world a better place, CAN be
far-reaching. If every person reading this list were to reach out...
Imagine! Submitted by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., who can be reached at The
Top 10 The Top Ten Ways to Transform Emotional Suffering into Inspiration 1.
Take responsibility for what you think and do. It is easy to be a victim in our society. The airways are
full of them. Turn on any talk show and usually you will see more than you want.
The bottom line is that only you can create the life you want, no one else. By
taking the step of being responsible for what you think and do, you are giving
yourself the power to be you. 2.
Listen to the people you trust. If you want to find out more about yourself ask someone who
will be honest with you, someone you admire. Ask them specific questions about
their perceptions of you. What do they think you need to change? If you want to
know the truth, ask and listen. Be willing to accept what they have to say. 3.
You can teach an old dog new tricks. Stop living your limitations and making up excuses about
things you don’t want to change. Become open to learning new behaviors. Feel
alive from learning new tricks. Staying with your emotional suffering will only
drain you. 4.
Start out small. Change does not happen overnight. It takes one step at a
time for new behavior to happen. Every day you have choices in front of you.
Pick a behavior you want to change and go small. Don’t tell anyone you
are doing this. It is your secret. See how it goes and look at the results. Is
this new behavior going to make your life better? If so, continue with that new
behavior before you start another one. Soon you will be aware that your life is
making a turnaround. 5.
Be your own rescuer. It is easy to want to be cared for. Having someone else
making all the decisions can be tempting. There are people in the world that
just love to rescue others. The problem is that when they rescue you, they take
your power (making decisions for yourself - being responsible) along with them.
By being your own rescuer, you take control of your life and your power. 6.
Know that you will still have friends. The illusion is that if you change and own your own power,
then people will not like you. The only ones who will not like you are your
persecutors, because they cannot mastermind you any more. The best people to
have in your life are the ones who care about you and accept you for being your
new self. They only want the best for you. 7.
Feel your pain and don’t run away from it. It is hard to be in emotional pain. You look for a quick
fix so you don’t have to deal with it. Unfortunately feeling the pain is
essential so that you can let go of it. You need to find avenues of letting go.
Maybe it is a physical activity where there is a lot of yelling; going
into a room and closing the door and crying until another tear will not come
out; sitting with someone and just talking; or writing thoughts in a journal. By
feeling the pain, you then can release it and move on. 8.
Release emotional pain. What you resist, persists. You may be comfortable in your
victim role but you need to be aware that change is empowering. The only way to
get to the other side is to walk towards it. When you walk towards growth you
will always go through chaos. Unfortunately chaos is what stops us from wanting
to go to the other side. It can be harsh at times. The key is that you can not
get to the other side without feeling pained chaos. 9.
Free yourself from your self-limiting beliefs. Giving yourself demeaning self-talk can be very dangerous
because you believe it. Most of your internal dialogue may be negative.
Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy. Start a positive dialogue.
Tell yourself you can do it. Realize that all growth comes from believing how
phenomenal you really are. As Nelson Mandela once said, ‘Who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You
are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.’ 10.
Don’t wait to see what others are doing; act on your own convictions. The world will be a better place if you act on your own
convictions because your talents will brighten up the world. There is no
alternative to being you. Stop trying to be someone else. Know your strengths
and limitations. Dream your dream and do it. With that combination, the world
will open its arms and embrace you. Submitted by Margot Robinson, MA Management and
Supervision; Author of The
Peaceful Soul Within; *Egos
& Eggshells: Managing for Success in Today’s Workplace*, who can be
reached at pathways@vnet.net,
or visited on the web at http://www.mrobinson.com
The original source is: Self. The
Top 10 Attitudes for Taking Life Less Seriously
Whether it was because bad luck
crossed your path or uninformed decisions were made, sometimes things just
don’t go the way you had hoped. Our tendency is to go back over our misses
again and again such that it feels as though you place yourself under a
magnifying glass. Stop over-analyzing the stuff that is already under the bridge
so that it looks even worse. While not a prescription for ignoring actual
problems, here are tips for stepping back and taking life a little less
seriously: 1.
Project ahead. Ask yourself: “How will I look at
this circumstance six months from now? A year from now? Then how much will I (or
anyone else) really care?” 2.
Learn a lesson. Okay, so things didn’t turn out the
way you hoped. Ask yourself: 3.
Look for the positive. What did you do that was on the mark?
Which parts went well? What
were you happy about? This helps take the sting out of the parts that were
lacking. 4.
Elicit feedback from a trusted family member, friend, or coach. 5.
Forgive yourself; forgive others. 6.
Understand that failure is often a precursor to success, often in ways
that we cannot predict. 7.
Don’t dwell on the old. 8.
You’ve heard it before: when you close one door, you move down the hall
and open another. 9.
How to deal with embarrassment of your effort that went awry? 10.
Get to the underlying issue of why you are taking outcomes too seriously.
About the Submitter: Submitted by Marla Platt, B.A.,
M.B.A., who can be reached at
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